Only Fools and Liars

Only FOOLS
                   & LIARS

The Tale of…
The Poker Face

1 1/2 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Cointreau
4oz Apple Juice/ Pineapple Juice
“Everybody lies” House
With April fools just gone, I started thinking about how we spend a lot of our lives fooling ourselves and fooling each other. But when it comes to lying, it seems we are only fooling ourselves believing that the people we care about most don’t lie to us.
Lying can come in many disguises, and some will make a fool out of you more than others. It can be the sole destroyer of a relationship. Even if no one is lying.
The invisible liar one of the worst I would say. If you ask someone to tell you the truth, you’re supposed to believe them. But if you don’t they may as well be lying because the damage will be done- the trust is gone, and if that’s gone, there’s not much left.
        “We’re all living Pinocchios” First Daughter
Avoiding the truth can sometimes be completely innocent and quite unnecessary to divulge the entirety of the truth. However, there are exceptions with this, so when does it become closer to lying than us Pinocchio’s should venture.  *Text from ex comes through* “who’s that?” “…OMG did I tell you what happened yesterday?”
So when is it okay to lie? To spare someone’s feelings? “Honey, do I look fat in this?”, “No, of course not baby”… JESUS, when did she put that weight on?!
I was told a story in a lecture the other day about a couple, probably in their 20s. The couple had been together for a while, but had never really defined the relationship. The guy was going to have to start going away for work for weeks/ months at a time, so he decided to talk to her about the relationship, make it official and ensure that neither of them would be seeing anyone else while he was away. He must have taken the wrong approach to the conversation, even though the exact words were unknown, his girlfriend misunderstood what he was saying and thought he was proposing and so accepted! He was too embarrassed to correct her, so went along with it.  They are still happily married today.  So here, technically he did what I would refer to as “avoiding the truth” *cough* lying. And everything was fine, they are happy and all because he technically lied to her. So is lying sometimes a good thing?
On the same sort of line as this is (boys cover your ears/close your eyes) faking an orgasm. Yes, we know that we shouldn’t do it because then the guy won’t know when he is doing something wrong- which I actually agree with. Girls, it is so much better for both of you if you just tell him the truth. Obviously, don’t just jump in their with “that’s crap” or “you’re doing it wrong”, instead, tell him what you do want him to do and he will soon learn what it is that pushes your buttons.  But if we do do it, is it really a treacherous form of lying? In the end, it is to spare awkwardness and embarrassment for the guy, and sometimes it is just easier and you’re doing it because you care. I call these honest and loving lies.
What about the ambiguity of lying, that is, when we do not know we are doing it. For example, as a newby to the Facebook relationship world, I always wondered that if I had a boyfriend but didn’t have a relationship status, did people think I was trying to hide something, or even think I was lying to the world? But how can that be, unless you explicitly put “Single” when you are in a relationship, it surely cannot be classed as lying? I would like to start the voting with a big fat NO here. There are both pros and cons with relationship status’ and it begins and ends with everyone else in the world, when a relationship is supposed to be between two people.  With my new found respect for social networking sites and the benefits that I have seen them provide, I feel it should be down to personal choice whether one enters a relationship on Facebook, or in my case, you put the poor guy through enough the least you can do is accept his relationship request!
Just like everything else in our complex and ironic lives, there is a tales to this head, and that is that sometimes we want to be lied to. Sound stupid? Well it’s true. Say everything is going wrong, whether it’s a smaller thing or something more serious, all we want is for someone to tell us that it’s all going to be okay, even when sometimes we know that things are bad and that they will be bad for a while. Or say you have had that most dreaded of dreaded moments when your new hairstyle has turned out completely wrong and you know how bad it looks and you know that everyone around you can see how bad it looks. Most of us wouldn’t want to be told how bad it is, you just want to hear “it’s really not that bad” or “your hair grows really fast!”
Lying is a fact of life. We all do it, in one form or another and some more than others. But perhaps the real problem is, how do we know when we are being lied to? Sometimes, with a close friend, you know when they’re lying to you, and they probably know that you know that too! With my Dad, he gets these creases around his eyes when he lies, usually because it’s a joke and he’s trying not to laugh, but with the people you know best, there are usually some giveaways. But what about those new people in your lives? When they tell you they are “different” and “won’t ever hurt you”, should you just assume they are like every other liar you have had experience with and run? Or do you give them a chance to prove they are telling the truth?
Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to this, and I judge no girl who decides to run as fast as her stilettos can carry her from every guy who says such things.
Keep honestly, and lovingly lying.
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