The Tale of The Screwdriver
2 parts Vodka
2parts Orange juice
“What’s steering your relationship?”
Ever wondered what defines your relationship? Or indeed if anything really defines it? Why must a relationship be defined, can we not just let it be? And for that matter, who defines our relationship, do we define our own, or is it yet another thing that will succumb to the scrutiny of others opinions?
Is it something within our relationship that ultimately defines it, and without it, it could not be? For example, it is safe to say that every relationship involves sex in some way. Perhaps there are those who would say that you can have a relationship without sex because it is not the most important thing. Fair enough, but it is important, and I would say there are only some circumstances where this would not be the case. It would be like a cake with no sugar, okay it’s there- but it doesn’t quite taste like cake. But how important? And, to what extent does sex have us on strings and dance us like puppets through our relationships- without the sex master, would we all be sitting puppets?
She told her friend that her boyfriend had bought a holiday for her birthday, he stared at her for a moment and she prepared herself for the inevitable abuse about to be thrown her way either directed at her or her boyfriend for being ‘too nice’. Instead, with a completely straight face just said, “you must be really good in bed.”
Is this the only reason a guy would want to do a nice thing for his girlfriend? An undeniably crucial part of a relationship of course, but subtract sex from the equation and for a man, what is really left?
No one can deny the importance of sex in a relationship. Just like a make-up bag without a mascara, other items are used variably by different people, but it is pretty safe to assume that mascara is one of the primary items key to a make-up routine. This seems to be the same assumption relevant for sex in the routine of a relationship. If a man thinks about sex ever y 8 seconds, is what is left in the other 7 anything of equal importance to them? When it comes to relationships, what is it they treasure most aside from sex, or indeed, is sex the solution to everything?
For example, Josie told me about a conversation she had with her boyfriend whilst looking at holidays together, he was reading the forms you have to fill in when booking, one of the questions asks about marital status. Of course, most women would know that until you are actually married you are technically classed as “single”, something that is perhaps wise to be kept unbeknown to many men. However, within this question it stated that “proof of relationship” would need to be provided, prompting her boyfriend to say, “if you give me a blow-job at the check-in desks, does that count as proof of relationship?”
Or, is there something more to fear, could the foundations of our definitions of relationships come down to something totally insignificant. Whilst in the changing rooms at the gym, I heard two guys talking outside, one guy was congratulating his friend for getting engaged. He said he had seen it on Facebook when he had changed his “status” to ‘Engaged’, he then asked if his friend had put it on Facebook straight away, “I could just imagine you sat there waiting to click ‘save changes’ when she said yes!” he joked. However, as they laughed, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of horror, okay they may laugh, but honestly, I would believe it. Maybe not sat there next to the button, but I bet one of the first thing that would pop into so many people’s heads is that they need to put it on facebook. Granted, one of the best things about Facebook relationships is that it saves you the trouble of having to actually tell people yourself, and if there is an ex you really don’t want that conversation with but you hope they ‘accidently’ find out so they will stop hassling you, it is a particularly useful tool to have. But when it comes to engagements, surely waving the gorgeous ring in your friend’s faces and watching them giggle and scream would be so much better than 50 ‘Likes’. Well maybe we need to think again, it seems a life-long mission in life now to have that one status that trumps all others on the newsfeed for that day and breaks your personal record that, let’s face it, you know you’ve been keeping.
Just as this cocktail, in my opinion, technically doesn’t class as a cocktail, neither should any of these definitions be taken too seriously. Remember, you shouldn’t be back-seat driving in your own relationship.