Happy Hormone Day

The Tale of… The Self Destruct

3 measures vodka

1/2 tsp lime juice

1/2 tsp triple sec 

Today is a bad day. Today is hormone day. Do you know what I mean by this?

I can hear a hundred boys puzzling, “Day?! Girls have hormone weeks.”

Well, yes we do. But this day, is the worst day of the bunch. It’s not always the same day, so you don’t see it coming. But you know when it’s arrived. As soon as I lift my head from the pillow, I can feel it.

So let me explain what happens on hormone day with some examples from this morning. I’ve got a lot to do this morning, so naturally, I couldn’t get out of bed until gone 10:30, giving myself about an hour to do everything.

Receive a Snapchat of someone sat in the sunshine having breakfast, excitedly swing open my curtains to see the imminent summer day, to be greeted with black clouds.

I had my normal granola and yoghurt breakfast and watched as the yoghurt covered spoon dropped onto my gorgeously soft fluffy WHITE rug.

As you can see, all very mediocre events that really didn’t cause much dismay to my morning. However, on hormone morning, this is all a different story and these three events were enough to drive me into mad case of the ‘mean reds’. (See below for definition)

Unfortunately, Tiffany’s is a little out of area for me, and so, my solution today was the zoo.

The only hiccup with this ingenious plan I foresee at this point, is that I’m going with him. And let’s face it, he’s bound to do something to totally unjustifiably, and completely unreasonably PISS ME OFF.

This was now yesterday, and I can safely say the hormones have passed over, but it does turn out, that the solution to hormones= some really cute animals.

But this got me thinking about the little things, the things in life that get you down, or you could really just live without and how we’re supposed to tackle them.

You may have guessed, but I’m not really one for soft loving. If you’re looking for sympathy, I’m probably not the person to go to. It’s not that I’m a bitch or anything (I can hear a definite 10 people disagreeing with that statement) but I seem to lack the basic human intuition to think that the fact that you just tripped over and looked like a total idiot is anything less that entirely hilarious. Aside from being labelled anti-affectionate and being the LAST person my friends want around if they’re going to suffer a minor injury (without getting actually hurt of course), it seems that this is a quality that isn’t shall we say, valued.

I can’t help it, misfortunes are a welcome event in my sense of humour. It’s not just other people, I spend nearly every walk with my dog laughing at myself for that curb trip or the fact that I just nearly went arse over face because the dog decided to stop mid stride.

The point here is this, my unwelcome sense of humour seems to be only trying to set an example of how we should often take our misfortunes. Making a fool of oneself, or feeling as if you are continuously failing miserably are not ideal, however perhaps we don’t spend enough time actually congratulating ourselves for not letting these things get us down and not just saying. “screw you lemons!” and giving up.

Yes, I am essentially paying credit to feeling like absolute shit, but not falling into a bottomless pit of depression, to be extreme.

“No one told you life was going to be this way.”

Sure, your promotion at work, A+++ grade in your studies or 3 stone weight loss is just dandy, and really something that should be celebrated. But I’d also like to send a ‘Congratulations’ card to the person who just received their umpteenth job rejection and went home and carried on applying. For the person who has just been cheated on, but doesn’t swear off all men/women. For the person who was craving a session with an entire chocolate cake, but chose to go to the gym instead. For the student who worked their little brain into the ground, and doesn’t have the results to prove it. For the girl who goes home to be told she’s gained weight, but doesn’t decide to starve herself as the solution.

These are the people on my Moon Pig list.

Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself never got anyone anywhere, and it doesn’t get you a pat on the back. So maybe we should spend more time feeling good about the fact that we didn’t just wallow in self-pity.

gandhi quote

We should always strive for the big achievements and none of us are getting free passes in this life, but just for today, for anyone with a case of the mean reds, I’d like to say a BIG CONGRATULATIONS for just getting out of bed.

punching anyone