Easy Living Never Killed Anyone
The Tale of… Easy Living Punch
3 cups Vodka
2 cups soda water
2 cups cranberry juice
1 cup orange juice
1 cup lime juice
Serve with ice and lime in a punch bowl.
They say when you’re kids, if a boy is being mean to you at school, it’s because he likes you. If he’s pushing you over and pulling your hair in the playground, it’s because he wants to be friends with you. Of course they’d say that- they’re adults. They think the person who cheated and then said “it was a one time thing, it meant nothing” is actually the right person for them. And if they are right, and this really does apply when you’re kids, is this why we grow up letting other people treat us so badly? Do we think it’s because deep down we think they like us? And how far does it go? For example, am I really supposed to believe that the boy who pushed me over in a bar a few weeks ago did so because he liked me? Okay- so this probably merits a little context- but the facts are the same. He did push me. And it was so hard that I did fall over. But I was a few cocktails down, and was wearing fairly high heels. But in his (what he called) “flirty” nudge, he did in fact cause me to fall flat on my arse. In public. Naturally, I never spoke to him again after that night.
In high school, it’s all about ‘cool girl’. Best defined by Gillian Flynn, as written in Gone Girl as I’m sure you all know about now. The most sought after compliment for girls in high school is to be a ‘cool girl’.
“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl.”
Back when a night of texting and good old-fashioned flirting was enough to put a smile on your face, we didn’t need to care for whether you were putting enough time aside for one another and considering the other person in all of your plans. When kissing was fun and not just something you did between meeting and sex. I would say as teenagers, we are at our most vulnerable to influence. Movies, music and television have a lot to answer for in an age when boys want to live in a Lynx advert and girls want to be the one Danny Donoghue is singing about. But more than anything, we’re tricked into believing that another person may be the thing you’re missing, when really, shouldn’t they just be the people we’re making some good memories with- like we did when we were kids.
It’s supposed to get better, or at least get easier. You’re supposed to be smarter and wiser. But you may just wake up one day and realise you’re 40, and you either never broke up with the jerk you were with at 20, or you divorced him, and you should have just gone the other way when you had the chance.
Or perhaps the problem is simply this, in growing up, we learnt to think. We think about something, and then think about why we’re thinking about it. Maybe the reason we had it right as kids is because we didn’t think, we just kissed.
As we all know, immaturity walks hand in hand with men and yet it seems they are the sex that has managed to remember this. Men tend to handle things better, they have a grasp on the child-like tendenies to be care-free. Men find it far easier to brush things off, forget about things, and generally move on, which of course often leads to their laid-back selves sleeping with someone else a week after you break up. They have been branded as ‘guys’ and this ‘guy behaviour’ now carries serious negative connotations. But is this behaviour down to what we think it is- laziness, arrogance, carelessness and thoughtlessness? Or is it them living their lives as we all used to as children? You don’t sweat the small stuff, you don’t worry about the little things, and after a 10 minute tantrum, you move on. And actually, are they more calm and content than women are?
Men are carrying this mantra through their lives in a larger sense, and they don’t let themselves be beaten down for long periods of time. Women on the other hand tend to hold onto things for longer. We may forgive, but we don’t forget and we always let things eat away at us. Let’s use a silly example, imagine a woman looking to buy a pair of trousers, and a man looking to do the same. A woman will try on upwards of three pairs, and then ponder which ones she likes most. Even after she’s bought them, she may wonder if she chose the right pair, she’ll try them on with different things and ask others their opinion to be truly sure she’s made the right decision. A man on the other hand will pick up the first pair he likes, he may try it on for size and if it fits he buys it.
“Life is what happens when you’re busy worrying about it.”
Biology does contribute in the sense that women are created with the capacity to be more emotional, that’s right I’m talking about hormones again. But men are groomed to hide their emotion, it’s like they’re all sat down at school and told: if you cry, you’re a loser, don’t cry in front of anyone for the rest of your life. And so even if something did really bother them, they wouldn’t let it be known which is usually not the healthy way to handle stress or emotion. And so I’m not saying men handle things better, because their relaxed behaviour can make them do things or say things that are just plain stupid. Sometimes life does call for a little more care, but then other times life is what happens when you’re busy worrying about it. Your childhood self would tell you to move on and play with a new toy if the old one is clearly broken.