If I put the words ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ in the title, this post might get lots of hits.

I was going to write something entirely irrelevant to that film everyone is talking about. But if this film SOMEHOW goes down in history as having made the most money ever in the existence of cinema or it breaks the record for the amount of women who pay to sit on the stairs in a movie theatre and I hadn’t written anything about it, well, I’d be pretty pissed.

So it’s less than 2 weeks away.

I’m not sure whether I should be grateful or even more prone to avoiding every public institution during these dreaded 10 days. For it is not hearts and red and LOVE plastered everywhere I go, but instead it is handcuffs and blindfolds. And Grey.

Normally I would kiss the ground before anything or anyone who made the run up to February 14th not be the vom-fest it is with the giddiness of Valentine’s Day. But it is a phenomenon that will perhaps prove itself even more intoxicating than Valentine’s Day that is swooping the nation this year.

I have found the anticipation and build-up for this film to have completely outweighed my expectations, levelling somewhere on par with the Twilight hype, which is ironic given the novel’s origins on a Twilight fan fiction website. Step aside Edward Cullen, you’ve been replaced by a sadist version of… yourself.

Naturally, you’re probably all assuming it is my favourite book. On the contrary, I read merely pages of it, skipping throughout the book to find one page I enjoyed… there wasn’t one. I respect the success E.L. James has had with it, and she seems to have accomplished giving people a sense of confidence to not hide from the fact that we all enjoy a good fantasy. Bravo. It was refreshing to see people develop the comfort to admit they liked a book of this nature. However my general impression of it was that it felt like reading erotica written (badly) for teenagers.

In spite of this, I won’t deny my curiosity for the release of the film. I am desperate to see what Sam Taylor-Johnson (Director) and Kelly Marcel (screenplay) have managed to do with this novel. The opening box office success of the film is a given already, it’s going to make millions. But the reviews of the film and my own personal view of it is still some mystery to me. I would render a guess that it will either be done very well, with sophistication, or it is going to be hugely disappointing and I’ll feel like I’m sitting through two hours of Miley Cyrus twerking.

I’ll keep you posted.